A Year Off Read online

  DEDICATION

  This book is dedicated to all the wonderful people who helped give us a sense of home along the way: Aaron Swanton, Adham Abdullah, Alex Leonte, Antonio Soave, Barry Slaven, Cem Turan, Dan Chainer, Dan and Sarah Hess, Daniel Grier, Dominique Hess, Dorin Dumitriu, Elodie Vadala, Emilie Bannwarth, Franco Riva and Rosella Terzollo, Friederike Seybold, Gail Hammer, Gayle Brandt, Gary and Lauren Womack, Giuliano Morse, Howard “Buck” Hansen, Ignazio Marino, Jennie Aleshire Moctezuma, Josh Haftel, Jason Comer, Julien Sauve, Juz Cottoncity, Kelly Jones, Ken Carter, Kevin and Emily Couturier, Kim Riemer, Krystal Grossman-Smith, Lilian Debra Holzman, Manuela Bosch, Marian and Adriana Milut, Matthew Cervourst, Matt and Megan Lawson, Mav and Kane Georgeson, Meeta Bharvani, Michael and Jen Dezso, Monique Trouette, Nate Linkon, Nell and Jim Gleason, Nicki Christie, Noriaki and Ai Obata, Patty and Roland Hess, Peter Moennig, Pietro Condorelli, Rahul Kapur, Roli Arun, Saahil and Neha Goel, Shabari Padaki, Shekhar Deshpande, Simon Fessler, Soumya Tea, Sowmya and Hans Van Baaren, Stefano Salvadori, Tricia Puskar, and Vaunda and Drew Nelson . . . and, of course, our families.

  Copyright © 2018 by Alexandra and David Brown.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Brown, Alexandra (Teacher), author. | Brown, David (Teacher), author.

  Title: A year off / Alexandra and David Brown.

  Description: San Francisco : Chronicle Books, 2018.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2017030649 | ISBN 9781452164656 (hc : alk. paper), ISBN 9781452164694 (epub, mobi)

  Subjects: LCSH: Travel—Guidebooks.

  Classification: LCC G153.4 .B76 2018 | DDC 910.4—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017030649

  Design and illustrations by Jennifer Tolo Pierce

  All photographs were taken by Alexandra and David Brown.

  ExOfficio® is a registered trademark of Newell Brands.

  Ziploc® is a registered trademark of SC Johnson.

  Chronicle books and gifts are available at special quantity discounts to corporations, professional associations, literacy programs, and other organizations. For details and discount information, please contact our corporate/premiums department at [email protected] or at 1-800-759-0190.

  Chronicle Books LLC

  680 Second Street

  San Francisco, California 94107

  www.chroniclebooks.com

  CONTENTS

  Introduction

  Meet the Authors

  SECTION I / BEFORE YOU GO /

  CHAPTER 1 / TAKING THE FIRST STEP /

  After dreaming about an adventure like this, the first step is deciding to actually go. From making the decision to quitting your job, this chapter provides advice on how to make your dream a reality and face the emotional responses you’ll encounter not only from others but also from yourself.

  THE FIRST STEP

  HOW IT ALL BEGAN

  MAKING IT REAL

  HOW TO PREPARE FOR AND HAVE “THE TALK” WITH YOUR BOSS

  LETTING GO OF EXPECTATIONS

  THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS

  PUSHING OFF

  REACHING THE BADLANDS

  WHAT HAVE I DONE?

  EMOTIONAL SITUATIONS TO EXPECT

  WAKE UP TO YOUR PRESENT

  CHAPTER 2 / PLANNING YOUR ROUTE /

  Planning your general course is the first key component of your trip. This chapter offers a process for planning your overall route, including making a “must see” list and evaluating critical components that influence your route, like weather. An annotated map helps you see your route, as well as shows the route we took.

  A RECIPE FOR CONFLICT

  FINDING MIDDLE GROUND

  MAPPING YOUR ROUTE

  BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER

  WHY WE LOVED OUR ROUTE

  CHAPTER 3 / SETTING THE BUDGET /

  Once your general route is set, it’s much easier to finalize your budget. Suggested regional budgets and daily averages show you how to divide your funds across your journey. We also share the tricks we learned to help cut costs and maximize money and resources.

  MONEY TALKS

  SETTING YOUR BUDGET

  ROUND-THE-WORLD TICKETS—YES OR NO?

  THE TIME VERSUS MONEY RULE

  TRICKS FOR STRETCHING YOUR BUDGET

  A NOTE ON TRACKING YOUR BUDGET

  TRAVEL ISN’T A LONG VACATION

  CHAPTER 4 / PREPPING AND PACKING /

  You have a sense of your route, and you know your budget. Now you can begin to pack and prepare to depart. Our packing list shows you what you really need for the journey ahead, and we offer advice on the critical components to address before you leave. (Hint: fewer than you think!)

  PLANNING IT OUT

  BUTTONING UP

  THE CRITICAL COMPONENTS TO TAKE CARE OF BEFORE LEAVING

  WE LOOK RIDICULOUS

  UNPACKING WHAT TO PACK

  DOING LAUNDRY ON THE ROAD

  THE PACKING LIST

  WHEN NOT TO SKIMP

  PACKED AND READY

  SECTION II / ON THE ROAD /

  CHAPTER 5 / ADJUSTING TO LIFE ON THE ROAD /

  Adjusting to life on the road can take time. Knowing when to plan ahead and when not to, growing comfortable with money going out but not coming in, living a nomadic lifestyle . . . all these things may not come naturally at first. We share stories on how we transitioned into our life on the road, including advice on how to plan for planning, how to not let money become a fixation or hindrance, and how to be comfortable in a nomadic existence.

  ON THE EDGE

  MEETING YOURSELF

  BALANCING PLANNING AND RESEARCH ON THE ROAD

  DRIVING THE LOOP

  KRISHNA, KRISHNA

  CHAPTER 6 / FINDING YOUR TRAVEL RHYTHM /

  Traveling for an extended period of time involves a different pace than vacationing. We share our experiences in finding our rhythm as well as practical advice on how to balance your time and set your pacing.

  AND A SIDE OF SOUR CREAM

  SETTING YOUR PACE

  TRAVELING WITH DIETARY RESTRICTIONS

  AUGUST HOLIDAY

  CHAPTER 7 / PEOPLE MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE /

  Discover the traveler’s code—one of generosity and hospitality. Doors are open in this world, and day-to-day life operates within a giving economy. We offer advice on how to leverage your network, experience a place more deeply through the eyes of a local, and give back even when you’re on a tight budget.

  A GLOBAL VIEW OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY

  THE IRISH COUSINS

  REACHING OUT TO YOUR NETWORK

  KEEPING AN OPEN MIND

  THE PEOPLE YOU’LL SEE

  MEALS THAT LAST A LIFETIME

  SECTION III / COMING BACK HOME /

  CHAPTER 8 / PREPARING TO MAKE A SOFT LANDING /

  The end of your trip is a dynamic time: you’ve really hit your stride, but you also know the return home isn’t too far away. In this chapter, we help you manage the push of the road with the pull of home and offer a few tips on how to remain present while getting more comfortable engaging with your return.

  TO RE-ENGAGE OR NOT TO RE-ENGAGE

  MAKING THE MOST OF THE LAST COUPLE MONTHS

  ROMA!

  MAKING YOUR WAY HOME

  CHAPTER 9 / ADJUSTING TO REVERSE CULTURE SHOCK /

  Coming home after being on the road for a long time can be shocking. This chapter offers advice on how to come home gracefully and prepare for the reverse culture shock that can hit harder than leaving did.

  DO YOU HAVE EXACT CHANGE?

  TIPS ON REENTRY

  THE LAST FLIGHT
/>   ARE WE THERE YET?

  CHAPTER 10 / FINDING A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON YOUR OLD LIFE /

  Once you come home, you may find the things you want have changed or, even more surprising, remained the same. We share our story from our first year back, offer perspective on the different ways a trip like this can affect how you move forward, and introduce questions to ask yourself upon your return to help you discover what you want now.

  HOW OVER WHAT

  SAME SAME BUT DIFFERENT

  EMBRACE WHAT’S POSSIBLE

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  Photography

  INTRODUCTION

  You can do this. Whether you are planning, daydreaming, or in the midst of deciding, the truth is that your trip has already begun.

  So when does imagining metamorphose into action? This is not everyone’s story, and nor do we expect it to be, but how and why we arrived at our desire to travel is not uncommon. Although we were both going through some big changes, there was nothing dreadfully amiss about our lives. We loved our friends and our home, and we had sound careers. Day-to-day life was good, but we were longing for something more fulfilling. We wanted to take a risk, living bigger than before and following our hearts, but we also felt fearful about stepping off the path of our traditional careers, eventual kids, and, down the road, retirement.

  As people who love to travel, we also couldn’t swallow the standard American corporate vacation philosophy, which often does not allow for enough time to actually travel. After holidays with family, there are usually just enough vacation days left to get somewhere, almost unwind to the point of being present, and then head home. It was amazing how often we heard people talking about how they were going to travel when they retired or wanted to travel now but didn’t know how.

  We found that existing books and guides did not touch on the benefits and challenges of taking a big journey during the stretch between settling into your career and retirement. In general, we found most were written for a college-aged backpacker or a vacationer with only a few days to spend. Many round-the-world books were written from a career wanderlust perspective, for people planning to leave and never come back.

  Nothing was designed for people who have been working and enjoying a good life but who want to deeply experience the world while they are in that elusive sweet spot: young enough to enjoy it yet old enough to appreciate it. We could not find a book that possessed the voice of a friend who had walked this road before and could inspire us to dream of what we would want for our own journey, and how to return from it and reenter our lives smoothly.

  Without a road map, we decided the best first step was to believe that this was possible.

  We felt so many varying emotions, swinging from incredible feelings of appreciation and excitement to pangs of anxiety for what we “should” have been doing. Slowly over time, we learned to laugh in the face of our fears and redefine success based on our values, not our expectations. These attitude shifts proved to be our most valuable asset on the trip as well as in our lives after coming home. We want to encourage you to embrace your own process, as it is the key to receiving what may be the most impactful and amazing moments of your life.

  We know that after years of establishing a life and career, the thought of veering off the path and pursuing another is exhilarating and terrifying. If you are feeling hesitation or fear about a trip, remember that everything you are leaving behind will most likely be there when you return, but the opportunity for an experience like this one may rapidly fade. If you are privileged enough to have the interest and means to take your trip of a lifetime, the actual big risk is the regret you may feel if you choose to not go in lieu of spending another year at work. We cannot urge you enough to invest now so you can benefit from the memories and perspective for the rest of your life.

  We want to help you engage even more in the entire process of what you are about to do, from making the decision to go to coming home. On the course of our journey, we learned pretty quickly that traveling is not a vacation. Our own experiences, and those of others we’ve met who have done a similar thing, can offer a little perspective on navigating that difference. As with most worthwhile things in life, this process, from daydream to first ticket, was not always easy, stress-free, or even relaxing for us. Our hope is to impart some of the wisdom we gained through our collective experiences to help you define what you want; better manage the pre-, during-, and postplanning process; and engage deeply with the cultures and places you visit. In short, we wrote the book we wish we had read before we left, and we hope it helps you start your journey, even if it is just a daydream for now.

  MEET THE AUTHORs

  We had only known each other for a little over two months when we decided to quit our desk jobs and travel the world together for a year. It was and still is the most radical thing either of us has ever done. We were in love and knew it from the first date. It was in those first hours of conversation that our talk of round-the-world travel began.

  David had been planning a solo trip to Europe and Japan, and as a bit of a joke we started imagining how we could live out this idea together: journeying with nothing but a few essentials, exploring all the places and people that captured David’s imagination. But over the next few weeks we started craving something we could build together instead. With the help of our community, we began the work of clarifying what we wanted and purging ourselves of the “impossible” attitude. We realized fresh starts can begin every second and catering to fears would lead to a small and restricted existence. We put one foot in front of the other and set our hearts and minds to making the adventure possible.

  In the end, we decided to expand the course of our trip and extend its duration, beginning in the United States and then going from east to west around the world. After only four months of dating, we hit the road and spent the next eleven months traveling the globe and getting to know each other in the process. Early into the trip, a friend sent us a clip of Bill Murray crashing a bachelor party where he said, “If you have someone who you think is the one, take that person and travel around the world. And go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of . . . When you come back, if you are still in love with that person, get married at the airport.” In the backs of our minds, we had the same plan.

  It was THE BEST YEAR.

  We visited twenty countries over the course of one year. We reconnected with old friends all around the world and made countless connections with new ones. We saw, heard, tasted, and smelled so many different and beautiful things. We ate like locals and got food poisoning, more than once. The tastiness was well worth the discomfort. We drank an inordinate amount of coffee. We took thousands and thousands and thousands of photos. We rode in most every type of moving “vehicle” imaginable, including auto-rickshaws, scooters, canoes, kayaks, longboats, overnight sleeper buses, ferries, beds of pickup trucks, motorcycles, planes, trains, and automobiles. We saw lots of the world. We saw even more of ourselves. And we learned how to see each other.

  And, yes, when we got back, we did get married.

  SECTION I

  BEFORE YOU GO

  Chapter 1

  Taking the First Step

  THE FIRST STEP

  David

  Everyone’s experience of taking the first major step is going to be different, as everyone has unique contexts and perspectives. At the time we decided to take our trip, Alexandra had lived in four cities over the previous year and was a freelancer. I, on the other hand, was quite rooted in San Francisco and in my career. No matter the circumstance, the choice to go is a significant decision.

  From our experience, there is no simple path to follow when it comes to mustering the courage needed to deviate from the norm or your norm. Finding the kernel of personal truth that enables you to know this trip is the right decision is a deeply personal process. We each had unique processes of coming to terms with our decision once it was made, but we also found comfort and insight in
the stories of others who had consciously deviated from more traditional paths, as well as from the people we were so afraid of disappointing with our decision to go.

  While we thought the first step was deciding to go, in reality it was putting that decision into action: quitting our jobs, telling our families and friends, and grappling with the troupe of emotions that came barreling in once we turned our lives upside down. In this chapter, we offer tools and perspective on how to gracefully quit your job, tell the people in your life about your decision to travel, and approach the different emotional responses you may feel after making your decision.

  How It All Began

  San Francisco, CA

  ALEXANDRA

  37.7749° N, 122.4194° W

  We were on what I thought was our first date but what David later claimed was just a “friendly hangout.” Considering we worked together, this was a delicate dance. It was the first time we had hung out together as people, not as client and agency. Conversation felt effortless, and there was an invigorating crackle of electricity between us.

  I had never felt more comfortable talking to a person I barely knew, and I felt this insane compulsion to reveal my heart and soul to him. David possessed this incredibly compelling combination of compassion, openness, understanding, and kindness. It was disarming and magnetic at the same time, and for the first time in my romantic life, I felt seen. His blue eyes revealed the inherent gentleness of his spirit and goodness of his heart. When he smiled, I couldn’t help but immediately smile back. We were each caught up in the glorious sensation of being out with someone we genuinely liked. The evening was easy and magical. When David told me about his plan to quit his steady corporate job to spend three months traveling through Europe on a motorcycle and then visit Japan, I said the only thing that made sense in that moment:

  “Wait for me.”

  The words hung between us in a thick silence. My spontaneous outburst shocked us both. The statement was ridiculous, but the gravity was not lost on either of us. Despite the objectively crazy nature of the suggestion, we could feel there was something real, something worth investigating, behind it. David paused.